Many parents wonder if their child will grow out of the problems that plague them as a child: their dyslexia, math disability, writing challenges, weak executive function, ADHD, or Asperger’s. I’m asked this question quite often by successful adults who are initially surprised their children are struggling, but when interviewed carefully about their own early years admit to having experienced similar challenges. But now they are a successful adult, so they must have grown out of it. Right?

Not necessarily. The short answer to whether most children grow out of these challenges is: probably not. At least not completely. But the demands in the world around them (their day-to-day environment) do change, and as they move through school and career they can be more selective about the kinds of things they choose to do, electing to do things they’re good at and avoiding things they’re not. So their dyslexia or ADHD or Asperger’s might not negatively impact the quality of their life very much as an adult, and may even become an advantage. But they still have it.

Adults diagnosed with dyslexia as children, even if they benefit from years of reading and writing remediation, tend to remain poor spellers and slow readers. I see this every day in my dyslexic husband who reads one book to my ten, though we spend the same amount of time reading every day.

For ADHD, some of the research suggests that children with ADHD simply have delayed brain maturation (by 3-5 years), but that they will eventually catch up with their peers. Unfortunately this may not happen until well past puberty and into college. I get dozens of calls every year from families of college freshmen with ADHD who are spinning out of control in the area of executive function. I often feel that students with ADHD would benefit from being “redshirted” to give their frontal lobe a chance to catch up with their peers’. Redshirting is a practice used most often in athletics of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for physical growth, making the children bigger and stronger thus more competitive athletically than their grade-peers. But it would be hard to “redshirt” our ADHD children for 3-5 years!

Anyway, rather than completely growing out of it, it seems that most children with ADHD grow up into adults with ADHD. The American Academy of Family Physicians reports that two-thirds of children with ADHD continue to grapple with symptoms (at some level) throughout adulthood. Their symptoms may present significant challenges, or they may not – depending on the circumstances. Some adults with ADHD only demonstrate impairing symptoms when they are anxious or depressed. Or when they’re hurrying. Or when they have to work on a long-term project. Or when they haven’t been getting enough exercise lately.

The environment and the individual’s physical state are both critical factors determining whether symptoms will be problematic or not. This is true for other medical conditions as well. If you have Type-II diabetes how you eat influences whether your symptoms manifest and whether your condition will appear to be dormant or you will have to use insulin for treatment. Adults with ADHD can try to choose careers (environments) that are well-suited to their needs. I can’t imagine either of my own children functioning very effectively if they were required to sit quietly at a desk all day doing routine work. Fortunately, they’ve gravitated to the fast-changing worlds of tech and media start-ups. In these environments they find it easy to stay attentive and focused. They can get up and move around. And they’ve learned that they’re more focused when they take care of their physical states by exercising, meditating, getting enough sleep, and eating right.

Children with Asperger’s still retain autistic brain differences as adults and gravitate to professions that fit their profiles. Hans Asperger wrote: “We can see in the autistic person, far more clearly than with any normal child, a predestination for a particular profession from earliest youth. A particular line of work often grows naturally out of their special abilities.” The adult with Asperger’s working as a physics professor or in Silicon Valley may be perceived as eccentric, but not necessarily as having a “disability.” The right environment can bring out the best aspects of a unique profile and downplay the worst.
Even during the school years, a child’s symptoms may manifest differently depending on the demands of the environment. A dyslexic child may experience significant challenges in elementary school when they have to read written text, hand-write responses, and are marked off for spelling errors. But when they’re in high school and can listen to text through voice software, type responses, and use spell-check, things can get a lot easier. A child with a math disability who struggles to recall math facts and has slow math calculation fluency may have a lot of trouble in elementary school when math is mostly about arithmetic. But when they reach high school and college when it’s more about problem-solving and fluid reasoning, they may excel.

So, children don’t usually grow out of it, but they may not be troubled by the different way their brain is wired when the demands of the environment change. In fact, having a differently wired brain may confer distinct advantages.

Books like: The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain by Dr.’s Brock and Fernette Eide; The ADHD Advantage: What You Thought Was a Diagnosis May Be Your Greatest Strength, by Dale Archer, M.D.; and The Way I See It: A Personal Look at Autism & Asperger’s by Temple Grandin, M.D. point out the advantages that being wired differently can confer. This is not just “feel-good” pop-science – there is some serious research uncovering real strengths in thinking associated with each of these diagnoses.

If orange is the new black, maybe having a "disability" is the new superpower.